October 2011
1 post
Say whaaaaat??
This girl has been crazy busy! Between working two jobs, going to two schools and keeping up on everything I have on my plate I have no spare time! Literally. I now have to shcedule in chill time to take a moment to breathe. Somedays I’m just going going going and I have SO much to do that there have been several moments where I feel so overwhelmed. Moments where I felt like I couldn’t...
September 2011
1 post
Beyond a hard earned cease
that calls to me,
caught in Season’s wondering winds
drifting off to sea.
Left to dream of dreams
whispered among pillows & pumpkins
can make a heart furiously beat.
After a wish’s second moment to be,
while slivers of yellow start to speak
under the rayless sky’s spread wings,
locked in a fragrance’s seize.
At last, the wills of...
June 2011
1 post
April 2011
3 posts
I Imagine He had Hazel Eyes
Standing in the corner of the inky gray light rail, he could tower over my five foot three frame by a good four inches. His dark hair lay flat covering his ears and swept across his forehead. Dark sunglasses guarded his eyes. I swear they had to be a light hazel color. A light golden brown with flickers of deep green. Sitting on the other side of the light rail, I observed his light complexion...
Spoken Word; Peter
There I sat fishing at the edge of the sea. The waves were calm and I found myself thinking, wondering, on a sense of absence Surely there is more than working to live and living to work. A part of me says there is more truth, more meaning to our existence. Day in and day out, casting my net, with flickers of doubt. There’s something within me that yearns, cries out for more than I can see. No...
March 2011
1 post
Carpe Diem isn't overrated
There’s something about the end that makes you think about the beginning. The same works with death, the next thought leading to life. Sitting in the back of the old church chapel, I was uncomfortably aware of my dry face among all the tear stricken faces and bright red noses. Eulogies and Biblical scriptures were shared to comfort the grieving. Although I am sad, the truth is you died a...
February 2011
2 posts
Two sisters one heart update
After more research, I discovered that the walk for Emma & Taylor Bailey is the final one. For three years the walk was to raise medical funding for the family & this year the walk will serve as a memorial. I have to do it.
I decided to talk to my dad about the cost & he said he’d support me. Saturday, February 26th I will be participating in the walk for Two sisters-one...
Two Sisters-One Heart
My heart goes out to a family who lost their 4 year-old twin daughters last August. These twin girls were special, they were conjoined at the heart. Living long past the expectations of doctors, their parents decided to do a surgery that would seperate them. Every surgery has a risk but it was greatly anticipated that these girls would have an incredible story & lives. Unexpectedly, the...
January 2011
1 post
I no longer believe in God. Atleast I haven’t been living or expecting like I do. Somewhere over the past few years, I’ve stopped believing in God, or stopped trusting. His existence and presence is undeniable but His heart and power I no longer trust in.
From the age of nine, God got a hold of my heart in a great way when the reality of who He is pierced the depths of my heart. Leading me...
November 2010
1 post
Confessions of a bridge burner
I’m not sure I can put words to all the things I’ve been learning, thinking, seeing, and dreaming recently. When I think on the past few months, all that comes to mind are bridges. I’m learning that I am really good at burning bridges, metaphorically speaking. Conflict is never easy or desirable, but some can handle it better than others. I am not one that handles conflict gracefully. Mainly...
April 2010
1 post
Murmuring dreams
You’re the murmuring whisper of a lost dream.
You are not words.
No, you are not the brush strokes on a canvas.
You are cadence.
Am.
The rhythm of a bird’s flight
The beat of a heart.
The sway of a lingering leaf on a frozen tree.
I met you once before.
D#m.
On the beaches of Costa Rica, when all my fear melted away.
I stood before God, the sand crumbling, caving beneath my shaking feet.
The...
March 2010
2 posts
Discord
Using my head instead of my heart is difficult. In a way it feels like I’m going against nature or even who I am sometimes. As I have said before, my emotions are like an ocean.
Unrestrained. Raging. Surging. Instinctive.
God has proved to me time and again that my feelings are not always reliable and that I need to use my mind over my heart sometimes. Apparently, there’s a balance, though I...
An ocean, to live by helm and anchor?
The emotions of my heart are like that of the ocean’s moody, wild and unrestrained waves. Building up to a climax, roaring with passion, only to crash at the sandy coast of the beach, I am spilled and rinsed. Washing away what was left before, for a moment just before being swept away, carried out to be one with the vast sea, I can breathe, before starting all over again. Surging through my veins,...
February 2010
1 post
I Solemnly Swear
I wish I could warn you
But I know that my warning would only fall
from the tips of your ears to the ground.
I am left to watch you unravel before my eyes.
If only you’d listen.
Inside I am begging you to hear my unspoken plea,
fall from my lips
but you choose not to hear.
Nor do you ask.
So I never tell
and we both know.
You question but you never truly ask.
No, instead you question....
January 2010
2 posts
Stained
For the last two weeks, God’s been at work in my heart. He’s been shaping a message that’s been sitting heavily within my spirit. The pages of my journal are stained by words, line after line, page after page, expressing the division within my heart until the word or revelation inside my heart was ready, woven and spun within the depths of my soul. Strengthened by my daily quiet times with God,...
Being Available
Last semester was one of the hardest semesters. Not because school itself was hard necessarily, but because it was a rough time of life. A lot of major changes happened and I had to adjust to many situations all at once and immediately. Although I complain about how it was the semester from hell in a tone that drips with sarcasm, in the last 5 months I have learned so much. I have grown so much...
August 2009
5 posts
There are so many things I want to say. Though I gave no idea how to put my feelings into words. How can I confine my feelings to limited words that dont accurately express the strong waves of emotions inside me? I spend so much time analyzing my thoughts and feelings to check myself. I still come to the same conclusion. I need to find a way to verbalize the war inside me. It’s eating up...
“the earth could never hold this love that burns my soul.”
Notes to Myself
“As I look back on my life, one of the most constant and powerful things I have experienced within myself is the desire to more than i am at the moment—-an unwillingness to let myself remain where i am—-a desire to increase the boundaries of myself—-a desire to do more, learn more, express more—- a desire to grow, improve, accomplish, expand.”
“my trouble is i analyze life
instead of live it.”
The aftermath of a second thought
Did I just miss out on a life changing moment? I felt that sense stir within my spirit. That supernatural impulse to reach out and speak the words that were suddenly whispered upon my heart. I didnt follow through. I didnt act upon the sense that every fiber in my being was echoing. Was it of God? Was I just creating it myself? Would that life now be changed? What would have happened had I...
June 2009
2 posts
Glory Phi God Creed
I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I am saved and dangerous. I am radically committed. I have the Holy Spirit power. The dye is cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am now a disciple of His. I won’t look back, slack up, slow down, back away or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low...
“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into...”
– Albert Schweitzer (via kari-shma)
May 2009
15 posts
"Nothing"-the perks of being a wallflower by...
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
because that was the name of his dog
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And...
“When you go to bed without saying goodnight or I love you to me, I can’t...”
– What’s your secret?: 585.)
Tia
They said that if she were to die by her own hand it would have already happened. See there’s more for her God has planned, more than she’ll ever understand. She was a canvas of layers adorned in various brush strokes I long to dip my my brush into the easel of voices; The confusing and sad strokes I’d like to cover up. Mesmerized by the contours of her life, I stepped closer, to...
Hero of War
davyfaceless:
Only few of you truly know my musical tastes. For those who do know, then you’d know i’m a sucker for a soft acoustic song, or just a soft song in general. For example, “You’re Not Alone” by Saosin, or “Swing Life Away” by Rise Against, even as far as “Take Me Away” by Dear Juliet (Chase Coy) and “Marching Bands of Manhattan” by Deathcab For Cutie. I haven’t liked any of those as...
Burned;The Art of Obedience and Disobedience
My heart bleeds and yearns. Longs with such a desire that it burns its own fire, out. Tears fall and fall; withought any reason at all. Etched upon my heart are the words from God’s mouth Every now and then they rise up out of my throat and onto my tongue. Spoken. Othertimes, they stay and grow cold within the very depths of my soul, blowing out the fire. Unspoken. The very reason why my...
The Art of Friendship
Much depends upon our shoulders Tilting over the gray edge. Her fingers laced through mine Weaving strength in and out. Tightly holding on to me Waiting with me in night. Pain and time to pass This moment you and I. Until the morning we wait We’ll get through it together. Two beating hearts are strong.
Imprints-clip
I remember the day my eyes truly opened. It was the moment the blinding sun hit my eyes and forced me to shut them tightly against the bright and burning pain.Standing on the rickety dock, swaying from side to side, with the roaring ocean at my back, I stared out at the huts made of sticks. Hesitant. Unsure. Purpose filled. The bare footsteps imprinted upon the soil smothered the dirt. I looked...
“Comparison is the root of all inferiority”
Legacy
Every life has a story to tell. Though you will find that my story is not my own, for I am the lasting legacy of those who have inspired me, who influenced me, of those who spoke into my life, and those who loved me. My story is of those who have lived life, for my strength comes from those before me and beside me. You will find that my words are not my own for they hold truth and impart wisdom...
“Be brilliant because you are able.”-Cary Tyler”
The art of starting the Climb
It’s one of those days where you woke up unable to breathe and choking on the block of tears that formed and hardened during the night. One of those moments in life where the future seems murky and uncertain, and it’s all you can do to refrain yourself from grabbing a blanket and curling up into a ball in the corner. Loosing control isn’t an option. It’s one of those days that you’re told will...