SpokenWord

Every life has a story to tell. Though you will find that my story is not my own, for I am the lasting legacy of those who have inspired me, who influenced me, of those who spoke into my life, and those who loved me. My story is of those who have lived life, for my strength comes from those before me and beside me. You will find that my words are not my own for they hold truth and impart wisdom from other voices that have been woven and spun into the voice of which I speak. I am the legacy of those who have taught me, and am the voice of so many others who have not yet been heard. My story is not about me, it's about the path that I have traveled that has led me to other people and their stories that have changed my life. So to know me, you have to know those that I love and the ones that are my heroes for they make me... ME.

January182010

Stained

For the last two weeks, God’s been at work in my heart. He’s been shaping a message that’s been sitting heavily within my spirit. The pages of my journal are stained by words, line after line, page after page, expressing the division within my heart until the word or revelation inside my heart was ready, woven and spun within the depths of my soul. Strengthened by my daily quiet times with God, there was no hesitation when God said that it was time. Usually, when God asks me to talk with someone, nerves bite and snap within the pit of my stomach. Only peace and confidence found me this time. I knew that I was walking within the presence of God because I had been preparing for this moment, waiting for Him to tell me when it was time.

Stepping out in faith does not come easy for me. I am timid and lack confidence at times. Especially when I know that God has called me to give a word to someone who is in authority over me, I am bombarded by thoughts that the person will not receive a word that I am compelled to speak. Over the last two weeks when He first gave me a piece of the word He was forming inside me, I instantly thought of all the reasons why this person should not receive or respect what I had to say. Labels such as, adolescent, student, daughter and inferior came to mind. God reminded me of 1^st Timothy 4:12 which says, “Do not let anyone look down upon you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.” Those titles, adolescent, student, daughter, and inferior fell away as I delivered the message that was woven and spun inside my spirit because I was called by God to do so.

As my voice left my mouth, the words that stained the pages of my journal pierced through the receiver’s heart. His eyes began to water and for several minutes he allowed me to see him in all his fears. My heart bled as each fear surfaced in the green of his eyes. Each word I spoke was colored with compassion and their truth in that moment dissolved any piece of deceit he had ever believed. “…Know that God is your judge. He alone is the only one who can judge you. When the past rises up and tells you otherwise, know that God is your judge. He has already judged your heart, and He has found it to be good. His heart toward you is good.” The presence of the Lord filled the room. For the first time, this person finally saw me as I am for a moment. After the conversation was over, I felt so blessed to be a part of the work He’s doing in the lives around me. My heart is stained by the compassion of the Lord. How different would the world be if we, all together, began to seek God on a daily basis and answer without hesitation when He calls? How different would the lives of teenagers be if they stopped using age as an excuse and lived by standing in confidence that they are called by God?

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